You're what I always wanted...

"i love you so much. You're what I always wanted...a lovely, nagging, bitchy girlfriend.". Said with a huge grin, and love in his eyes as he gave me a sweet kiss on my neck.

Trick or Treating

"Trick or treating is an American thing, I'll be honest with you, it's begging.  If a homeless man dressed up as Batman, would you give him candy?"

Dangerous, unpredictable psychopath.

Me:  I love you, but I also respect you. 
Him: "I love you but you're a dangerous and unpredictable psychopath.  Now let's go to bed. Please don't hurt me."

Skype Face-palm

Me: I love that panoramic view picture that you took of Germany! I'd love to have that blown up.

"Well, that's what we tried to do in the war."

Things you shouldn't say sober.

"You're so lovely, you give me a boner."

Bat Sh!t Crazy

"Every woman is bat shit crazy. It's just the balance of how often that side shows. You have a good balance."

Misguided

Me: I didn't get to spend your whole birthday with you, so we're still celebrating. I'm making breakfast.
Him: "Everyday is my birthday with you."
Me: Even on the days when I'm a bitch?
Him: "You're never a bitch, just sometimes misguided."