Lean Management

After describing the massive amounts of food everyone had at his work dinner, he states, "Lean management is out of the question."

Yeah, I don't think that's what they mean by lean management. 

Talking Two's

Teaching 2 year old to talk.  This month's sentence..."I'm why we can't have nice things". 

Football (Not of the American variety)

Hubs kicked the soccer ball softly to boy child, which proceeded to barely brush boy child's leg as it passed him. To which...child yells "Ow" and then proceeds to lay on the ground like he was hurt. Husband's response..."Apparently he's Italian".

Public Transport

Hand Warmer

Me:  My hands are so cold. 

Him:  Stick them in my pants, that will warm them up. 

Me: No. 

Him:  There's a 5 pound note down there. 

Me:  If you think I'm so cheap that I'm motivated by $5, you are mistaken. 

Him:  I know you'd do it for less if I placed a chocolate down there. 

Coke's the answer

While watching a British documentary on obesity and the marketing of food and the industry I commented that if we're going to use regulation to lose weight, why don't we make a mandatory exercise hour in the workplace...wouldn't it be more effective. 

His reply...want effective weight loss, make cigarettes cheaper and coke legal. 

Perfect. 

Honey

Me:  Look at this beautiful raw honey. Isn't it pretty?

Him:  Does it smell like wild flowers?

Me:  It smells like honey. 

Him after taking a whiff:  It smells like a bee's ass.