I love toilets

While thanking him for the contribution that he gives to our family...

"Well, someone has to do the toilets."

"Thank you. I really appreciate it. I hate doing toilets...and the cat litter."

"See. That's where we're good...because I fucking love doing toilets and the cat litter."

Courage

"I now appreciate that not every meal has to be a test of courage.  The best way to loose weight might be to leave the head/bones/internal organs/extremities on the plate. It certainly helps me loose my appetite."

An email I received when he was on his way home from Shanghai China. 

Lean Management

After describing the massive amounts of food everyone had at his work dinner, he states, "Lean management is out of the question."

Yeah, I don't think that's what they mean by lean management. 

Talking Two's

Teaching 2 year old to talk.  This month's sentence..."I'm why we can't have nice things". 

Football (Not of the American variety)

Hubs kicked the soccer ball softly to boy child, which proceeded to barely brush boy child's leg as it passed him. To which...child yells "Ow" and then proceeds to lay on the ground like he was hurt. Husband's response..."Apparently he's Italian".

Public Transport

Hand Warmer

Me:  My hands are so cold. 

Him:  Stick them in my pants, that will warm them up. 

Me: No. 

Him:  There's a 5 pound note down there. 

Me:  If you think I'm so cheap that I'm motivated by $5, you are mistaken. 

Him:  I know you'd do it for less if I placed a chocolate down there.